Recreating myself and letting go

I recently had an epiphany that has greatly altered how I see myself.  I am going to do my best to put into words that realization and what it means for me moving forward.

After teaching in public schools in San Diego for 15 years as a math teacher, we made the choice to submit our leave of absences and move to Bahia Asuncion, BCS, Mexico.  For many, the decision seemed abrupt and irrational but not for me.  After strugglng through Covid and watching politics invade public education, I knew the future was bleak, at least for me and my happiness.  People who know little about what happens in the classroom were on television making wild claims and accusations that were far from the truth.  It was too big of a battle for me and I knew I would be misearable moving forward.  While I am speaking for myself, my wife, Tracy, was sharing similar fears.  So our decision was very well vetted and thought out and our kids were also driving forces in the decision.  We packed our bags, sold almost everything we owned, and moved to our long time retreat.  

Over the past 16 years or so, we have spent a great deal of time at our casita.  My guess would be about 9-10 weeks each year.  As such, we felt pretty comfortable with what to expect.  Little did we know that in addtion to living permanently in a new town and country, we would face questions related to getting older and also transitioning into retirement.

For the most part, the tranistion was relaxed.  Tracy and I enjoyed going for long walks together and talking about the future.  We enjoyed our new time with the kids.  And I need to mention the joy of taking a nap every day of the week if we wanted to.  But Tracy started to get restless and decided to look for opportunities to teach online.  It didn't take her long to find work and she embraced the new challenge.  Her personality lit up every time she met with a student and I would catch glimpses of my past life as a teacher vicariously through her.

I found myself daydreaming at the thought of giving a kid a high-five or celebrating with our class when we struggled through a problem together.  Those memories in the class room but also as a coach seemed to define me.  As we met people and discussed our lives, I often found myself talking about being a teacher and all the joys and struggles that came with the territory.  I was a teacher and that's how I viewed myself.  Soon enough, I started teaching online as well.

I immediately clicked with my new students.  I did struggle a bit, though, in that my personality seemed to fit a flexible environment while teaching online is a bit more rigid.  But it was teaching in the "for-profit" environment that was a bigger challenge for me.  I found the goal posts moved a bit more and the learning outcomes weren't always what they seemed to be.  It seemed as if the tail wagged the dog a bit too much for my comfort and professionalism.  One day the tail wagged a bit too hard and I realized that I needed to move on from teaching.  It took about a week or two for me to realize my epiphany.

I have always enjoyed telling stories and especially have admired story tellers.  I decided to commit to sharing more stories about our life here in Mexico.  People have told me over and over that we live a great life and we should share it with others.  I finally bought the Go Pro camera that I've wanted and set out to document the Adventures of Famila Bajaboy.

I was pretty much starting out from scratch.  I knew nothing about filming or editing but that didn't stop me.  I was determined to learn.  In the first month, I found myself waking up at 4 a.m. with story ideas.  The excitment was authentic and I quickly realized that I was no longer a teacher but instead a student.  I wanted to learn and grow.  I wanted to reinvent myself.  It was and is so powerful.  Instead of hanging on to what I remembered myself as, I could use that energy to grow and expand.  I could use all those wonderful memories as a foundation for my next episode in life.  It's exciting.

As fate would have it, Gabriel came into the fold.  I asked him to help me edit a few videos.  At first, it seemed as if he was apprehensive especially as he already had his own successful YouTube channel.  But after a few videos, he realized we might have something special.  As a result, I have a new perspective of my son and his thought process.  He edits most of the videos we post on our YouTube channel.  I give him the raw footage and he goes to work.  I love the freedom of letting him be creative.  I ask him to tweak things here and there but it's mostly his work and my story. 

On the flip side, I think Gabriel has learned a bit more about me.  He's always seen me as a teacher but now he sees my entrepreneurial and marketing background.  We make a great team and we're slowly bringing Tracy and Mikayla into the fold as well.  

While I'm not sure where our channel will end up, working with my family to tell our story is priceless.   I wake up each day with a sense of purpose and the storylines are endless.  I now call myself a story teller, lifestyle entrepreneur, farmer, brewer, and cook.  But people in the know call me Papa Guapo!   I hope you enjoy following along with the Adventures of Familia Bajaboy.  Cheers!